Sleeping

Spent an hour or so in bed yesterday afternoon, then got up, went down stairs, poured myself a drink and turned on the boob tube. Remained on the couch until 10:30 last night and then went to bed. Yay.

Slept until 6:30 but didn't get out of bed until after 9:00. No point in getting out of bed early. That just means more hours to be awake during the day.

I will go to the gym today. OK says to exercise, that it helps. I don't find that to be the case. I've been back in my regular workout routine for months now. I do it because I have to for my job. It makes me sleep better, too, but it doesn't help me feel any better about my life. Besides, a lot of times exercising makes me feel worse about myself. For example, I haven't been able to run my usual 2.5 miles in a long time. Don't know why, but my stamina is shot. Just can't make it. Then I just beat myself up for the remainder of the "run." I suck.

I have nothing to do today. As with yesterday. No hobbies. No interests. No desire to get out there and accomplish anything. No purpose. Don't even feel like drinking, but it does seem to put me in a better mindset, takes my mind off of myself and enables me to relax.

Therapy appointment on Monday night. I guess I should make a list of why I want to be there, as come Monday I'll probably be in a completely different mood and won't remember why I'm there.

I will not take time away from work right now. I've thought about it and I want to, but since Rover is not there, I do not have to worry about avoiding him. I may as well go to work. It fills a day. I'm scheduled at the law office all next week. That should help. Altho Mouse won't be there, and I really like Mouse.