Day #2

Feeling okay. Know that my decision concerning Rover was the right one. Feel confident I can make it stick this time. Things had changed sufficiently between us so that I'm not experiencing that same loss and longing I have felt after breaking it off with him in the past.

Still need to figure out what to do about my self-esteem. I'm hoping that will come back up with time and distance. Considering therapy. I'll give it a few weeks and see how it goes. I figure I'll have good days and bad days and that the good days will eventually out number the bad ones as time elapses. I am just trying to be myself now. I am not trying to put on a smile, I am not holding back my tears (within reason), I am allowing myself to grieve and to feel okay. I am, however, trying to mellow out and not be so volatile, so erratic.

I asked that Rover give me my stuff back, stuff I've never asked for in the past. I don't expect he'll be needing it anymore, and I don't need to let him keep it as a bridge back to me.

* * * *
Another ugly run in with RacerEx. This time he sent me a nasty gram back and then changed his telephone number so I cannot talk to him. Again, it is sad, but I don't really care. I am so fed up with him, so angry about how he treated me at the end, so sick of his inability to communicate and so tired of his lies.

* * * *
I'm at work today. As I said, Destiny took care of me and Rover is still off with his bruises from the accident. I think he'll be back to work on Monday, but I may be able to trade out of the watch and work Tuesday instead.

I have my weekend booked up. That's good.

Anyhow, gotta go.