Cleansed

Well, the cleanse is officially over for me. What a whimp, eh? Didn't even last 24 hours.

It started last night when I was absolutely famished and a friend of mine who has just broken up with his girlfriend asked if I'd have dinner with him. I thought I would just sit there while he ate, but it smelled so damn delicious in the restaurant that, being famished, I couldn't resist ordering. I ordered sensibly and only ate half of my chicken picatta dinner. Yum!

I went back home and decided to start anew, ending my evening with some laxative tea (lovely). This morning, as prescribed by the cleanse, I began the day with the saline "wash": 2 teaspoons uniodized salt in 4 cups of luke warm water. This "wash" is supposed to "rinse/scrape" some kind of plaque that forms on your intestine walls and aide in cleaning you out.

Now, I don't know about you, but drinking four cups of luke warm water first thing in the morning--or in one sitting at any time of day for that matter--is no easy task. Add to that water two small teaspoons of salt and you have an unimaginably vile concoction. Take my word for it. Or, for shits and giggles, try it for yourself.

Yesterday, trying to pretend I was just drinking a brothy kind of soup, I managed to injest about 3-1/2 cups.

Today, I vomited it up after the second swig.

For me, vomiting is my body telling me something: don't drink any more of this crap.

* * * *
I thought the cleanse would help me kick start a diet. Perhaps it did. Because as of today I am on a diet. No ice cream, no crap. I'm going to make some veggie soups and things today, healthy stuff. Oh yeah, and no beef for a while. Beef messes with my stomach lately. Lots of salad with very little dressing. And my vitamins. I should eat some fruit too. No more frosted shredded wheat.... that's sad. Shredded wheat is so yummy. Perhaps if I get the unfrosted kind..., but what's the point in that?

Anyhow, I'd better get moving. I've got to shop and mow the lawn. Wonder if that laxative tea will have me on the throne all day long. Hope not. Silly fast.