Finding Pleasure in No

Rover called me this morning. I worked all weekend, so we didn't see one another. He told me he misses me and asked what I was doing tonight. I told him I didn't have any plans, so he invited me over...

... The catch was he'd scheduled an after-work meeting with a client and didn't know how late the meeting would go. I offered to drive down and be at his place at 9:00, thinking that would give him plenty of time. But he said he didn't think he'd be home by 9:00, perhaps closer to 10:00, maybe even later. He'd try to keep the meeting short, but he couldn't guarantee it. He told me he'd leave me a key and that I could let myself in whenever I got there. He dangled the opportunity for me to sleep in a little later tomorrow before I had to get up for work. I agreed and told him I'd come down and perhaps take the opportunity to go through his closet to help find potential items for him to bring to Italy if that was okay with him. He consented.

But then I got to thinking.

I don't sleep well at his house. His house is cold and messy. There is no internet access there. I don't particularly enjoy his house in any way, on any level. So why was I going to hang around there without him, only to have him come home late so we could possibly have sex and sleep fitfully together? What was in it for me?

Nothing I could think of.

So I told called him back this afternoon and told him I'd thought about his offer, but was going to say no thanks, that I'd rather stay home in my snuggly warm house and catch up on my Tivo.

Another first for me. I've never told him no thanks before.

I honestly would rather get up at 5:15 a.m. after a good night's sleep and a nice meal than sit around a dirty house waiting for him to show up. I told him in my message that I'd rather hang out with him when he had time to spend.

There are no other opportunities to see him this week. He is working the days I am not and has committed one day to go see his son the only other day we have off together. Guess I don't fit in. Oh well.

When we talked this morning, he told me he was just going to "let go" of all the projects he has to complete and stop stressing about them until he gets back from Italy. I told him it was a good plan. Then I pointed out that there had been days he'd had the opportunity to work on his place but had chosen not to. He said that was because he'd been with me. I gently reminded him of the days he had not spent with me but had chosen to goof off instead of working. I wish I had thought to say, "Well, I guess when we come back we know what's going to have to be sacrificed" (time with me).

I am ready for it.

I will find something else to do. I am working on it already.

Gotta go now. See ya!