Up to My Ass in Aphorisms
Having been brought up by a woman who spoke in aphorisms, I can't seem to get away from them myself. My vocabulary, limited as it may be, is flush with aphorisms. I've even coined many of my own. Here's a sampling of my favorites:
* A little vanity goes a long way (and it does, especially sunscreen)
* Hair is overrated (said mostly to balding or bald men)
* That's just something that's made to break (said in reference to silly accessories on appliances, etc.)
* Output must exceed intake (said to people constantly on fad diets who think they've discovered the only way to lose weight)
* I'm sorry, I was ignoring you (said when someone is talking to me and I'm not listening)
* Do you know how much time in life I've wasted being early?!
There are more, but I can't think of them right now. Some of RacerEx's which I like are:
* A cheap tool is no bargain (very true)
* I like a woman who achieves her beauty through loads and loads of make-up (said in jest)
* I have three words for you: conditioner
And so on. Care to contribute any of your own?
2 Comments:
I do believe my best one was probably:
Women. Can't live with them; can't bludgeon them repeatedly with a blunt object.
OK, so perhaps I was a bit cynical at that point in life.
Funny how easily they slip off the tongue when needed; try to recall one and the brain vapor locks.
Here's a favorite, though:
Abstinence makes the wand grow harder.
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