The Surface of Things

I don't know how to do the real work. I don't know how to delve below the surface too far. As I told HeadShrinker today, I don't know how to get into my psyche, because my moods, desires and opinions change hourly. She delved into the men I choose: those with very defined and/or rigid ideas of who they are and what path they're on. Also, I choose men who also don't delve into their own psyches. I guess I attach to defined and rigid men because I feel so lacking in structure. I have no set definition of self, so I latch onto men who do. Interesting.

Funny that HeadShrinker does not try to convince me to get away from Rover or tell me that our relationship is unhealthy--and I have tried to be very honest with her about what goes on and has gone on. I wish I could get him in there. It would be so much easier to articulate to him if I had an "interpreter."

RacerEx is lame. It's so difficult to communicate with him. Perhaps I am not clear, but it's as if he doesn't read my complete email. Even if it's short and to the point.

I said I wanted to pick up the dog on Sunday using a key he left behind for me and asked him if he was comfortable with that. Then I said he could retrieve the dog on Monday after he gets off of work using the key he already has, if he still haves it. How does he respond? He tells me he's not going away next weekend and to let him know if I still want the dog this weekend. Arrrrrgh!

There are ants in my house.

I'm gonna go watch T.V. Boob tube. Nite.